The Ideal Husband

The Ideal Husband.

Ibn Kathir said:

{ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ } أي طيبوا أقوالكم لهن، وحسنوا أفعالكم وهيئاتكم بحسب قدرتكم، كما تحب ذلك منها، فافعل أنت بها مثله، كما قال تعالى{ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ } البقرة 228 وقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ” خيركم خيركم لأهله، وأنا خيركم لأهلي ” وكان من أخلاقه صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه جميل العشرة، دائم البشر، يداعب أهله، ويتلطف بهم، ويوسعهم نفقته، ويضاحك نساءه، حتى إنه كان يسابق عائشة أم المؤمنين رضي الله عنها، يتودد إليها بذلك، قالت سابقني رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فسبقته، وذلك قبل أن أحمل اللحم، ثم سابقته بعد ما حملت اللحم فسبقني، فقال ” هذه بتلك ” ويجتمع نساؤه كل ليلة في بيت التي يبيت عندها رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فيأكل معهن العشاء في بعض الأحيان، ثم تنصرف كل واحدة إلى منزلها، وكان ينام مع المرأة من نسائه في شعار واحد، يضع عن كتفيه الرداء وينام بالإزار، وكان إذا صلى العشاء، يدخل منزله يسمر مع أهله قليلاً قبل أن ينام، يؤانسهم بذلك صلى الله عليه وسلم، وقد قال الله تعالى

{ لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ ٱللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ } الأحزاب 21 

Allah said,

﴿ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ‌ۚ ﴾

(And live with them honorably), by saying kind words to them, treating them kindly and making your appearance appealing for them, as much as you can, just as you like the same from them. Allah said in another Ayah,

﴿ وَلَهُنَّ مِثۡلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيۡہِنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ‌ۚ ﴾

(And they have rights similar over them to what is reasonable) (2:228). The Messenger of Allah said,

« خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي »

(The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best one among you with my family.)

 It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah to be KIND, CHEERFUL, PLAYFUL with his wives, COMPASSIONATE, SPENDING on them and LAUGHING with them. The Messenger used to RACE with `A’ishah, the Mother of the Faithful, as a means of kindness to her. `A’ishah said, “The Messenger of Allah raced with me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced with him again, and he won that race. He said,

« هذِهِ بِتِلْك »

(This ﴿victory ﴾ is for that (victory).)” When the Prophet was at the home of one of his wives, sometimes all of his wives would meet there and eat together, and they would then go back to their homes. He and his wife would sleep in the same bed, he would remove his upper garment, sleeping in only his lower garment. The Prophet used to TALK to the wife whose night it was, after praying `Isha’ and before he went to sleep. Allah said,

﴿ لَّقَدۡ كَانَ لَكُمۡ فِى رَسُولِ ٱللَّهِ أُسۡوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ۬ ﴾

(Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow) (33:21). 

(Tafsir Ibn Kathir under 4 : 19)

In short, exercise or have good appearance for your wife. Don’t be a fat or obese. Talk romantic, before going to bed talks, play with them, go for a walk or race if you can, laugh with them, have some party, don’t have body odor, leave cigarettes, clean yourself. Commend the food they make and help them in household chores.

You can add many more things as per the sunnah.