With the arrival of friendship day, the common question that pops up in many people mind is about its status in Islam. can we celebrate friendship day? can we wish our friends happy friendship day? is celebrating friendship day halal or haram? the list goes on. what one hardly ponders on is ‘the type of friendship that one should have. the type of friendship that Islam permits. Islam is not against friends or doing friendship, its against the type of friends that you befriend. Obviously friendship with a guy or girl is never allowed, Islam is completely against such haram relationship in the name of friendship. But it continously reminds us on the type of friendship circle that one should have. Let us see what Islam has to say on ‘what type of friends that we should have’. Its time for you to assess your friendship/friendship circle
FRIENDSHIP IN ISLAM “Close friends, that Day will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.” (Quran 43;67)
“And the day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands (in regret) he will say, “Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way.” (Quran 25:27)
Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan to man a deserter.”(Quran:25;28,29)
THE 2 MAIN REGRETS ON THE DAY OF JUDGMENT :
a) Not following the Prophet (s.a.w) on the path of guidance
b) Befriending a person who diverted one from the truth
Friendship is every person’s need. Without loving and being loved , our personality can never be complete.
HOWEVER, ALL FRIENDSHIPS that :Lead you away from the remembrance of Allah Make you deviate from the straight path Affect your ability to differentiate between halaal and haraam Overpower your mind to the exclusion of all else Make you neglect your obligations ARE FORBIDDEN IN ISLAM They are unreal and transitory
HADITH : The Prophet (s.a.w) said: “A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.”(Abu Dawud ) “ Everyone will be with those he loves.”(Bukhari) “Keep company with a believer only and let your food be eaten only be the righteous.” (Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi)
In A Good Friendship, there is :- Common love for Allah- Increase in Taqwa, Allah-consciousness- Increase in emaan in each other’s company- Urging each other to do good deeds and – stopping each other from sinning- No wastage of each other’s time, energy, wealth or abilities- Discouragement of aimless talk, sinful or senseless speech or bad behavior- Drawing towards Allah and not towards each other
WHEREAS A WRONG FRIEND will Pose a danger to your eeman Draw you to herself and not towards Allah Distract you from Allah’s remembrance Draw you into sinful activities and make them feel enjoyable Waste your time and energy Justify your mistakes and faults rather than focusing on improvement Be possessive and resent the time you spend elsewhere
A WRONG FRIEND will Flatter you even when you don’t deserve praise Make you a slave of whims and fancies Make never ending demands on you and expect them to be met Not be happy when you say ‘No” Abandon you in your troubled times Be selfish and seek to fulfill her own agenda Forget you when you are out of sight
SUCH A FRIENDSHIP IS NOTHING BUT A DECEPTION! :There are Satans amongst both Jinn and humans Beware of the enemy in the garb of a friend!
Hadith :The Prophet (s.a.w) said: “The example of a good pious companion and an evil one is that of a person carrying musk and another blowing a pair of bellows. The one who is carrying musk will either give you some perfume as a present, or you will buy some from him, or you will get a good smell from him, but the one who is blowing a pair of bellows will either burn your clothes or you will get a bad smell from him.” (Bukhari)
ASSESS YOUR FRIENDSHIP.. :What do you talk about when you are together? Is it about Allah, the Prophet (s.a.w) or other people? What do your do together? Obey Allah’s commands or your own desires? Do you help each other in righteousness and piety and and stop each other from sin and aggression? When you spend money on each other, is it to please Allah or to impress each other or other people?
ASSESS YOUR FRIENDSHIP.. :Do you waste each other’s time and energy? Do you point out each other’s faults in a sincere and wise manner and accept the criticism constructively ? Does your friendship advance you spiritually? When you look at your friend, does it bring Allah to mind? Most Importantly…Do you love each other for the sake of Allah?
HADITH : The Prophet (saw) said: “O people, listen and understand. Allah has slaves who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but both the prophets and martyrs envy them for their closeness to Allah. They are from various peoples and tribes who have no ties of relationship between them. They love each other purely for the sake of Allah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will present them pulpits of light for them to sit on. Their faces will be light and their clothes will be light. The people will be scared on the Day of Resurrection, but they will not be scared. They are the friends of Allah who will not have any fear upon them nor will they grieve.”(Ahmad)
HADITH :The Prophet (s.a.w) said: “On the Day of Judgment. Allah the Most High will announce, “Where are those persons who love each other for the sake of My Pleasure? This day I am going to shelter them in the shade provided by Me. Today there is no shade except My shade.” (Muslim)
HADITH :The Prophet (s.a.w) said; Allah has decided: It is incumbent upon Me to bestow My love on those who love one another for My sake, meet one another for My sake , visit one another for My sake and spend for each other for My sake. (Malik)
HADITH :The Prophet (s.a.w) said: In Paradise there are pillars of rubies on which there are rooms of emeralds with open doors shining like sparkling planets.” He (s.a.w) was asked who would occupy them and he replied: “Those who love one another for Allah’s sake and those who visit one another for Allah’s sake.”(Baihaiqi)
VALUABLE ADVICE: Be moderate in your friendship Keep reasonable expectations from each other “And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.” (Quran 5;2)
There are 3 types of ‘friends’
Those that are necessary like nourishment and you cannot live without them;
Those that are like medicine and are beneficial, so you need them sometimes; and finally,
Those that are like a sickness and you do not need them at all!
Allahumma innee as’aluka hubbaka wa hubba main yuhibbuka wal ‘amal ladhi yuballighunee hubbak O Allah ! I ask of You Your love and the love of whoever loves You and the love of of the deed which will draw me in attaining Your love. Ameen