Refutation Series X: Wife Swapping

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Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatahu (May Peace, Blessings & Mercy of Allah Be Upon You)

Article by Sister Noor-ul-Huda & Brother Asim ul Haq

The Article is in reply to series of allegations:

1) Refutation Series I: Muslim Women are Dirty Polluting Creatures
2) Refutation Series II:Women are inferior, slave to men
3) Refutation Series III: Muslim women are sex object for men enjoyment
4) Refutation Series IV: Muslim Men can Capture Infidel Women as Sex Slave

5) Refutation Series V: A Woman’s Testimony is Worth Only Half of a Man’s
6) Refutation Series VI: Brutal Punishment For Women
7)Refutation Series VII: Fewer seats for women in Allah's Paradise
8) Refutation Series VIII: The Tyranny of Men over Women

9) Refutation Series IX: Polygamy

Allegation number 10: Wife Swapping


Islamwatch quoted Wife Swapping

Sura (4:20) “And if ye wish to exchange one wife for another and ye have given unto one of them a sum of money (however great), take nothing from it. Would ye take it by the way of calumny and open wrong?”

(You can change your wives. Islamic wife-swapping requires saying "talaq" three times to one of the four wives, and replacing her with another wife.)


Response

  • Three talaq at once will be considered as one not three, see our Article;

Issue of 3 Talaq: http://systemoflife.com/articles/general/203-the-issue-of-triple-talaq

  • Context of the ayah

[004:019] O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.

[004:020] But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) as Mahr, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin?by slander and manifest wrong?

Comment:So here Allah orders that "You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness" then Allah says "unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse." and we ask question to the author of the article that if the wives of atheist or Christians commit open illegal sexual intercourse, what will they do to their wife? will they be able to live with her? If yes, then they are not in their senses if no then what is the problem in the ruling of Qur`an??, same is the ruling for women if husband commits open sexual intercourse with any other, she can leave him, let us see the commentary

Ibne Kathir Commented The Messenger of Allah said; «خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي»

(The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best one among you with my family.) It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah to be kind, cheerful, playful with his wives, compassionate, spending on them and laughing with them. The Messenger used to race with `A'ishah, the Mother of the Faithful, as a means of kindness to her. `A'ishah said, "The Messenger of Allah raced with me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced with him again, and he won that race. He said,

«هذِهِ بِتِلْك» (This ﴿victory ﴾ is for that ﴿victory﴾.)''(end quote)

  • Don’t know from where did the author guessed that ending relationship with a female means swapping, If a wife changes her husband due to some reason, does that mean this is husband swapping?
  • Only ISLAM is the religion which puts certain conditions if one wants to end his/her marriage, and fulfilling those conditions and requirements is necessary. Only ISLAM says that marriage is not a child play, that one day you get marry and the next day you repent and marry again by divorcing.

Although divorce being allowed in Islam is a sign of the lenience and practical nature of the Islamic legal system, the unity of the family is considered a priority for the sake of the children. For this reason, divorce is always a last choice, after exhausting all possible means of reconciliation. For example, Allah addresses men asking them to try hard to keep the marriage, even if they dislike their wives:

... live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.(Surah 4 Verse 19)

And the following verse is addressed to women asking them the same thing: If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; ...(Surah 4 Verse 128)

Again, the following verse is addressed to the family/ the society for the same purpose of rescuing this bond, which God did not make easy to break: If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, God will cause their reconciliation: For God hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.(Surah 4 Verse 35)

But, if after exhausting all methods of reconciliation, the hatred between the husband and wife is still greater than tolerance, and then divorce becomes inevitable. Here comes the genius of the Islamic law, which holds practical, rather than unrealistic approaches, towards real situations. The ultimate aims of marriage, as well as any other aspect of human life, are to achieve happiness and virtue. So, when people are denied their right to end an unhappy marriage, these two aims are not met. This is, as the couple will live in suffering, which may lead them to marital infidelity. Thus divorce in this case – if weighed up to the disaster of family disintegration - will be less disastrous.(end quote from Zawaj)

  • If Woman does not like her Husband she can leave him or if the marriage is against her will she can leave her husband.

Proof 1: Narrated Al-Qasim: A woman from the offspring of Ja'far was afraid lest her guardian marry her (to somebody) against her will. So she sent for two elderly men from the Ansar, 'AbdurRahman and Mujammi', the two sons of Jariya, and they said to her, "Don't be afraid, for Khansa' bint Khidam was given by her father in marriage against her will, then the Prophet cancelled that marriage." (Bukhari Book #86, Hadith #99)

Proof 2: Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Abu Dawud Book #11, Hadith #2091)

(It is mentioned in Awn Al Mabood Commentary of Abu Dawud والحديث قوي حسن

This Hadtih is Powerful and good) source of Awn al Mabood http://hadith.al-islam.com/Page.aspx?pageid=192&BookID=36&TOCID=694

also see

Continue reading here: 10)Refutation Series X: Wife Swapping

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